Shakespeare’s Sonnet 2 but Bad

Photo by Malin K. on Unsplash

When you’re forty or whatever

You’ll have wrinkles so you won’t be hot

Like you’re hot now because you’re young or whatever

But once you’re not fuckable you might as well just die

People will ask you what you did when you were hot

And like, you’ll have to say you didn’t fuck (do you even fuck bro?)

Such a waste once you aren’t fuckable

You’ll be so ashamed, I swear you will

That’s why you gotta fuck now my dude

Then you can be like “here’s my hot offspring

I’m not hot but he is and I looked just like him” (no, that’s not creepy and weird bro!)

You’ll prove your now hotness in the future by breeding dude! (Not creepy, I swear!)

The kid will be new when you’re old and crusty dude

Why not have a bunch of kids so you can feel young or whatever dude?

Author’s Note: When you get to the meaning behind his poetry, Shakespeare certainly had…opinions.

Part of my parody poem series. It’s literally all my bad poetry. Some of it is deliberately bad. Some of it I wrote when I thought I could write poetry. Guess what category this belongs to?

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Known as The Mediaeval Monk on Instagram, Viktor Athelstan writes about medieval monks, magic, and more. On Medium he writes about whatever he wants.

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Viktor Athelstan

Viktor Athelstan

Known as The Mediaeval Monk on Instagram, Viktor Athelstan writes about medieval monks, magic, and more. On Medium he writes about whatever he wants.

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