Shakespeare’s Sonnet 2 but Bad
When you’re forty or whatever
You’ll have wrinkles so you won’t be hot
Like you’re hot now because you’re young or whatever
But once you’re not fuckable you might as well just die
People will ask you what you did when you were hot
And like, you’ll have to say you didn’t fuck (do you even fuck bro?)
Such a waste once you aren’t fuckable
You’ll be so ashamed, I swear you will
That’s why you gotta fuck now my dude
Then you can be like “here’s my hot offspring
I’m not hot but he is and I looked just like him” (no, that’s not creepy and weird bro!)
You’ll prove your now hotness in the future by breeding dude! (Not creepy, I swear!)
The kid will be new when you’re old and crusty dude
Why not have a bunch of kids so you can feel young or whatever dude?
Author’s Note: When you get to the meaning behind his poetry, Shakespeare certainly had…opinions.
Part of my parody poem series. It’s literally all my bad poetry. Some of it is deliberately bad. Some of it I wrote when I thought I could write poetry. Guess what category this belongs to?